Kennedy is 1

August 13, 2009

I can not believe it my baby girl is 1!!! Who would have thought - well I did, but I know a lot of people thought she would never make it to see her first birthday. Brian and I had planned a huge birthday celebration for both Kennedy and ourselves on Saturday, August 15th, however, we could not let her actual birthday pass without having some sort of celebration.

Brian and I cooked a feast and had our family and a couple friends over to celebrate. We ate, drank, threw shoes, and socialized in the backyard all night long. When we sang happy birthday to Kennedy I became really overwhelmed with emotion. I just kept thinking, "We did it". We beat the odds. We were told repeatedly that we would take our baby home and she would never see her 1st birthday, but she did! Auntie Ash made Kennedy and homemade birthday cake/pie/pudding thing and we sang to Kennedy as loud as we could - she loved all the noise and stimulation! Her eyebrows were raised as she looked around. It was a night I will never forget!!!

Happy Birthday Peanut!!!!!!

Happy Birthday

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dear Kennedy,

One year ago today we welcomed you into this world. I never could have imagined how much our lives were about to change. Your daddy and I couldn't wait to meet you. I was wheeled into the operating room for a planned c-section. I was really nervous and uneasy the night before about your arrival, but I felt at peace and calm that morning. You were born at 9:39 a.m. weighing 5 lbs 14 oz and were 17 3/4 inches long. You didn't cry when you were born - the NICU team was called to the room and you were whisked away. I got to see you for a split second and kiss your forehead. At that point I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams what we as a family were about to endure. I didn't get to see you again until the next morning at 6:00 a.m.

I often hear the statement, "if only you could go back in time". Well if time travel was permitted I would not change one thing. I know I say this all the time but you make me a better person. I even see it in your daddy. He is more caring and understanding. His eyes light up at the "little" things in life that matter. At night you guys lay in bed and daddy holds your hand until you fall asleep. He would do anything for you. Most daddy's in our situation would have left by now. But not our daddy - he is in this for the long haul, for better or worse.

This road we are traveling down is a rough one, full of many bumps and unexpected holes, but you are riding through life amazingly well. I never would have thought I would get to see you smile or hear you babble or celebrate your 1st birthday. You are a miracle! I love you more then anything in this world.

We love you Kennedy!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy too

The Calm Before the Storm

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

It was a year ago today and I can remember it like it was yesterday (I actually don't think I will ever forget this day) it holds a great deal of meaning to me - this night has taught me many lessons!  Brian and I are anxiously awaiting the grand arrival of our little girl Kennedy.  My in-laws are down from Colorado to meet their new Grand baby, I had called all my family to tell them to be at the hospital no later then 9:00 a.m. in order to meet Kennedy, all of our bags are packed, the house is immaculate, the cradle is set up right next to my side of the bed, etc.....

Brian and I are laying in bed trying to get some sleep.  This will be our last night together as a family of 2!  Tomorrow at 6:30 a.m. we are scheduled to be at Queen of the Valley Hospital for a scheduled C-section.  

As I lie in bed I can't help but shake this uneasy felling.  I shared my feelings with Brian who just continued to tell me that it was nerves.   But I knew differently.....Let's recap - Kennedy was initial due on September 15th, however, at my 8 month appointment my doctor had moved up my due date up one whole month after a scheduled ultrasound.  Kennedy's head circumference was measuring that of a baby due 4 weeks earlier.  We were then told that my due date would be moved up a month earlier to August 15h).   Two weeks later I was scheduled for another appointment.  My Dr. performed another ultrasound and delivered the same due date of August 15th using Kennedy's head circumference.  In addition, I was told by my Dr. that Kennedy was measuring roughly 10 lbs.  After this appointment we scheduled my C-section for August 13th because Kennedy was still breached.  

The four weeks prior to Kennedy's birth were filled with a lot of uneasiness, doubt, and worry.  I used to tell Brian and my family all the time that something was wrong.  Kennedy was not ready to come out.  She was going to be small.  They used to think I was crazy!!!!  They would say, "look at you - you are huge" or "your doctor wouldn't tell you she was ready if she wasn't".  No matter what anyone said I couldn't shake this feeling that everything was not going to be alright.  But what was I supposed to do???  I mean a person who went to school for medicine, someone who has delivered hundreds or thousands of babies (of whom five I know personally) was telling me everything was fine.  I couldn't very well tell him he was a liar or that Kennedy was going to be small when he says she is going to be big.   

Call it mothers intuition - I just knew something was wrong.  The day before my C-section I laid in bed in the dark worrying about what tomorrow was going to bring me.  I was excited to finally meet Kennedy but I had a very unsettling feeling.  I woke Brian up a couple times and told him that I didn't want to go.  I asked if he could call and cancel.  He told me that everything was going to be OK and that I was just nervous.  He laughed and said, "we need to get some sleep, this is going to be the last peaceful night was have in a long time"....Oh boy, he sure did not know how spot he was!!!

Sea World

Thursday, August 6, 2009

A couple months ago my family from Utah and I planned a trip to Sea World sometime at the beginning of August because they all were going to be down in San Diego for a family vacation.  We decided on a date earlier in the week and I was anxiously looking forward to Kennedy's 1st visit to Sea World.  I went down to San Diego with Jen and her son Brandon, Breanna (the tag along) and Kennedy and I!  We met up everyone early in the morning and had a blast all day long.  

This was a very sensory filled day for Kennedy.  She saw Shamu, touched Sting Ray's and starfish, had her picture taken with Elmo and Big Bird, went through the shark reef and saw a show called Cirque De Le Mer.  She really seemed to enjoy herself.  She was very alert and even cracked a smile.  It was so nice to spend the day with my family and friends (wish we could do this more often).  

The tickets we bought let us go back one more time for free....so I can't wait to go back with Jen and Brandon and hopefully Brindle and Sophie to have another fun filled day in San Diego!

***** Mandy e-mail me the pics you have so I can post one of all of us together - I have no idea why I didn't take one :(

(Above: Kennedy and I getting ready to watch Shamu)

(Above: Kennedy and the starfish)

(Above: Kennedy loved touching the Sting Rays)

(Above: The besties)

(Above: Kennedy and Mommy waiting for Breanna at one of her many potty breaks - LOL)

(Above: Kennedy and I don't know what we would do with out her - she is always willing to lend a helping hand!!!!)

(Above: The Foursome on one of our many wild adventures)

(Above: Elmo....Brandon's favorite - we watched The Elmo Movie about four times on the way down to San Diego =) )

(Above: Mommy and Kennedy watching the Sharks)