The Peanut Gallery

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mirror Image

Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Sorry it has been so long since my last entry. I have been a little preoccupied the last couple months. As you know, we welcomed Kennedy's baby brother into the world on Monday, May 2, 2011. He has been such a blessing. I just know that Kennedy is beaming down from above with such joy and pride. So far all has been well with Collin - with the exception of a minor surgery he had on Sunday, June 5, 2011 at just 4 weeks of age.

We took Collin into to our amazing pediatrician earlier that week because of some vomiting and overall irritability. He advised that it could be a couple things. He said there were two strains of the stomach virus going around, it could be reflux, or possibly pyloric stenosis. Everything I was describing to our Ped sounded like classical reflux symptoms. He prescribed us an antacid and sent us on our way. By Friday things were only getting worse. I called our Ped friday night explained the situation. He said he would be in clinic on Sunday and to bring him in if things progressed. Of course I was overly anxious. I went on with my laundry list of questions regarding dehydration. He gave me five key pre-cursors to look for. He proceeded to tell us if any of these occurred over the weekend to just take him into the ER. Well Friday night was horrible. Collin projectile vomited all evening, screamed bloody murder, and decided that it was unnecessary to produce urine any longer. Once we went about 24 hours with only two small wet diapers we decided to take him in.

After lots of waiting we received an ultrasound and were given the diagnosis of pyloric stenosis - which is a narrowing of the pyloric muscle (a muscle connecting the stomach to the small intestine). This muscle becomes extremely large and does not allow food to pass from the stomach to the small intestine. We were told that he would need a pyloromyotamy to allveiate the problem. I remember when I first heard that Collin could potentially need surgery, my mom and I just looked up and said to each other, "Kennedy, don't worry we haven't forgotten about you". Walking through the doors of that hospital, seeing some of Kennedys nurses and being in those very rooms Kennedy occupied a couple years ago as she fought for her life was a little overwhelming.

But this time unlike any other time with Kennedy, there was a cure for this particular issue. Collin would be cured. Something we prayed and prayed about for our Kennedy, but unfortunately it was not gods will. Collins surgery was a success and he has been a new baby ever since. No more vomiting and no more irritability. I must say that I feel so fortunate to have Kennedy up above looking over us. Collin is one lucky little brother to have such an amazing big sister - his very own personal guardian angel!

I would be lying if I didn't say that having a new baby in our lives hasn't been hard. I remember the very first night we brought Collin home and laid him in our bed for the evening, I was overcome with extreme guilt. I could not help but feel as if I was replacing our baby girl with this new baby. Deep down I know that Collin is not a replacement for Kennedy, but at that moment I could not help but feel utter weakness and sorrow for myself. I wanted to look down in that bed and see our Kennedy laying there, instead that spot was occupied by her baby brother.

Well, I started off this post wanting to go in a totally different direction, but apparently I went off on some wild tangent. What I originally wanted to talk about was something that took my breath away a couple weeks ago. The three of us went to our local italian deli to pick up some items for a BBQ we were hosting. As we were waiting in line, I glanced over at Brian who was holding Collin and what I saw just about brought me to my knees....

What I saw in front of me brought tears to my eyes. What was my husband holding my son, appeared to be a mirror image of my Kennedy. I made Brian stand still so I could snap this photo. That one moment made my day!

Mommy misses you Kennedy! Our life just isn't the same without you in it!!