Proud

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Dearest Kennedy,

As I reflect upon your life today I am overcome with emotions. The logic of medicine said you should have never lived as long as you did, but you had plans of your own. You were such a fighter. We were told over-and-over that it would take a miracle for you to leave the NICU alive. Your Daddy and I were so very proud to carry you through those hospital doors on Thursday, October 16, 2008. We were then told that it would take a miracle for you to live to celebrate your first birthday and when you accomplished that feat let me tell you something, we celebrated and danced like we had won the lottery. Day in and day out we were overjoyed and in awe in your presence. You were so head strong and determined (I wonder where you got that from?) Doctors didn't give us much hope. According to them, it was only a matter of time before your journey here on this earth would draw to an end. You fought on.....

You lived:

• 2.41 Years
• 28.89 Months
• 125.41 Weeks
• 878 Days
• 21,068.85 Hours
• 1,264,131 Minutes
• 75,847,860 Second

You were such a fighter. You made it quite evident that this was your journey and you were going to be responsible for writing the ending to your story. No one was going to dictate to you how your life would turn out. I must tell you Kennedy I am so very proud of you. I was given the most amazing gift of life on Wednesday, August 13, 2008. The way I feel about you can only be described as the way a parent must feel when their child becomes president or finds a cure for cancer. You spoke few words and were here on this earth for such a short time, but the impact that you have had on myself and others is unbelievable.

You continue to live on inside of me! I celebrate your life daily. This world will never forget you!

I love you,

Mommy and Daddy too

We are the Lucky Ones

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

(Christmas 2009 - Kennedy was always so mesmerized when she was in her Daddy's arms)

My Dearest Kennedy,

Today marked another month since you left us here on earth to go walk hand-and-hand with our lord. I must admit I miss you more and more as time goes on. The idea of permanence has become an incredibly hard concept for me to grasp. It is very heartbreaking to know that I will never see your face, hear your voice, or touch your skin here on this earth. I have been struggling knowing that I have to wait an entire lifetime before I am able to be by your side again.

Your brother is doing amazing. The doctors say that mommy has a big boy growing inside of her belly. I am anxiously anticipating his grand arrival. I can not wait to see what traits or characteristics that he possess of yours - will it be his hands, hair color, eye shape, nose, mouth....It does not have to be something big, I just want him to carry something of you on him forever.

I know you already know this, but you have the most amazing daddy in the whole world! He has been taking extra good care of mommy in your absence. Kennedy, you have really helped to shape your daddy into one of the most selfless, thoughtful, caring individuals. He is still very quiet but when he talks the words that come from his lips are profound. We went out to dinner yesterday and I was telling him about another little baby that was born very sick. This baby's mommy and daddy were about to be faced with the toughest decision of their life. He was only 14 days old and because of his diagnosis his prognosis was very poor/terminal. They were going to remove him from life support. They were praying and praying to god for a miracle, unfortuanelty he had other plans for this very special little boy (just like he had for you).

As I conveyed this story to your daddy he looks back at me and says, "we are so lucky". I knew exactly what he was talking about, but asked for clarification to ensure we were on the same page. He proceeded to tell me how sorry he feels for families put in this position and feels incredible gratitude that we were able to take you home and get to know our first born baby. He continues on by saying, that we unlike many families were able to enjoy 29 long months with you in our lives. We exposed you to all the world had to offer - we took you any where and everywhere sharing with you life's experiences. He proceeded to say that so many other families are not as lucky as we are and for that he is eternally thankful. We got to know you Kennedy on such a deeper level. We were able to share you with the world and become enamored in your presence.

I must say Kennedy - your daddy is one smart cookie. We are lucky and blessed! Even though your time here on this earth was short we live with no regrets. We do not second guess any of our decisions in your care and we know that we gave you the best life any two people could possibly offer. We are the lucky ones.....god decided to bless us with you as our daughter. To have had you in our lives even for such a short time is a gift that none will ever surpass. So many other families are not as lucky as we are.

I love you more than anything in this world Kennedy. I continue to share your story with everyone. You will forever be a presence in this family. One thing I can ensure you is that me, your daddy, grammy, grandpa, auntie and uncle will never ever forget you. We talk of you often and reminisce about your life. I have said it once but I will say it a million times over. I would endure this most horrific heartache over-and-over agin because knowing you and loving you was SO worth it.

Mommy loves you....

Love,

Mommy and Daddy too