Happy Mother's Day

Sunday, May 10, 2009
First and foremost I would like to start off this blog with saying that being a mom is not always what we expect, anticipate, hope or dream for - the reality is, it is a tough job. We have heard this phrase a million times, but it is so true - it is one of the hardest, most emotional, most rewarding, and most under paid jobs in the entire world, but most of us wouldn't trade it for anything. I would like to wish all the mom and mothers-to-be out there a Happy Mother's Day. Take this day to RELAX (easier said then done - I know) and spend time with the little/or big ones who make this day possible. I know for some of you this day may be hard or filled with sadness and emotion - it is for me. However, think of the positive - look past all the hurt and pain and remember the sweet times. Look deep down inside yourself and recall that feeling - to me that is the feeling if hard to describe in words. It is a feeling I get when I am holding Kennedy in my arms. It is a feeling of unconditional love. No matter what happens, no one can every take away those memories or feelings a mother and a child share.

I am up and ready to head off to the Hospital to spend this day with Kennedy but I just wanted to give everyone a brief update - complements of my husband via text message. Kennedy had a rough night last night. There were a couple scares and a lot of talk to intubation. Kennedy is having more d-sats then they would like to see. Her seizures are really making things tough for her. Apparently, every time she has one her heart rate is elevated and she begins to have drops in her oxygen level (d-sats). In addition, they are concerned with her heart rate - it is extremely elevated (running at 175 - 200 bpm, this is a typical newborns heart rate). Furthermore, her blood pressure decided to take a ride on another roller coaster. It has been up and down. Last night Brian also received the results of the Ultrasound. There was no fluid between the ribs and lungs - so hopefully a deep suction will do wonders.

The doctors came in this morning and told Brian that Kennedy is one of the most complicated cases they have ever seen - not usually comforting words, but I couldn't agree with them more. From the outside at a glance she looks like a perfectly "normal" 9 month old, but deep down she is filled with medical anomalies that no one is able to provide any insight into. It is just so crazy to truly realize how behind medicine is when it comes to the brain. It find it so intriguing and frustrating that they are able to fix, cure, diagnosis, and help with so many diseases, syndromes, disorders etc....but when it comes to the brain (the unit that gives us life) the medical field has only just scratched the surface. I mean I have seen and heard things at Loma Linda that I didn't even know existed and then I look at Kennedy and wonder why is she so different? What is it about here that leaves everyone pondering and guessing?