The Peanut Gallery

Monday, January 31, 2011

A Mothers Words

Monday, January 31, 2011

On Saturday, January 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm I lost one of the most important things in my life - my two and a half year old daughter Kennedy. Her life and death has forever shaped how I will live this life here on earth. Kennedy is the single greatest thing to ever happen to me. I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to have known the most amazing human being to ever set foot on this earth. She was and will continue to be a shining force in my heart and soul. She has touched me deeply and has taught me more about life than any other person or life experience ever has.

Today is a day for us all to mourn through celebration. Kennedy’s life was nothing short of miraculous. How does a mother say goodbye to her little girl? She doesn’t! She will never accept the fact that the precious angel that touched her heart like nothing else is gone. What brings her piece is that she is not gone. She lives. She lives inside of all those whom she’s touched and she lives with god. Someday that mother and little girl will be reunited again – and I can’t wait!

We have heard from so many people who’ve told us about how Kennedy’s story has touched their lives and made them reevaluate their relationships and reprioritize what’s important to them. People started to pray again, some people began praying for the first time and some were spending more quality time with their children and all learned that life was not a guarantee and was not to be taken for granted. All of this happened because of Kennedy! She had the uncanny ability to make you step back and not allow yourself to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, to slow down and smell those flowers,

At just 2 ½ years old - she accomplished more in her short life then I have in mine. I was her Mother. I was supposed to teach her, guide her through life and provide her with the foundation to grow into a strong and beautiful women, but instead she taught me – patience, how to embrace life, to rejoice in even the smallest of achievements, to approach challenges and mere impossibilities with the attitude that nothing is impossible. She had the uncanny ability to make me step back and not allow myself to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, to slow down and smell those flowers, and to truly love without limitations.

We have been dealt a devastating blow to our lives and we may be experiencing the absolute worst that life has to offer, but Brian and I always try to make the best out of any situation. There are really two choices we all have in a situation like this one – we can wallow away in self-pity, doubt, anger and sadness or we can rise above the situation embrace the circumstances that were bestowed upon us and accept the things that we cannot change – we choose to live and live like we had never lived before We celebrated and rejoiced in Kennedy’s life. We turned even the most negative of circumstances into a positive and we smiled, laughed and really just embraced our life together as a family!

If I was asked this question once, I was asked it a million times over, “knowing what you know now would you do it all over again” The answer is unequivocally without hesitation – yes! I would re-live the pain and heartache just to have known, loved, and cared for Kennedy. Very early on we decided to live life according to the way Kennedy wanted to live. We relinquished control and handed the reins over to Kennedy very early on. This was her journey and we were there by her side every second of everyday to support her, comfort her, care for her, and love her in every way possible.

I would have to say that the outpouring of love and support that our family has received in the last two and a half years really leaves me speechless. Kennedy has forever changed my life. Moreover, the impact she had set upon others is profound and nothing short of amazing. Even though she was unable to talk, her presence and innocent soul has forever left an impression on our lives that will last a lifetime!

To my husband Brian – what can I really say to you besides thank you for being there. You played such an instrumental role in allowing Kennedy to live such a wonderful life. Kennedy has brought so much joy and love to our lives and has brought us so much closer together as a couple. The sacrifices that you made were all done with your family’s best interest at the forefront. She has made you into one of the most selfless persons that I know. Given our state of affairs I do not know many men that would have stuck around and would have done so with such strong convictions for your family’s needs and well being. You allowed me to quit my job, to stay home and care for our daughter, you did side jobs to make extra money, you came home daily after a long days and then cared for Kennedy to give me some time to myself, and I can remember countless evenings where you stayed awake with Kennedy late into the wee hours to allow me to sleep and then woke up the next morning to do it all over again. Kennedy was so blessed to have you as her daddy!

Finally, I prayed hard over these past few months that when it was time for Kennedy to leave us here on earth she would go peacefully in the presence of her family embraced in my arms. God and Kennedy worked together in such harmony and blessed me with an amazing end to an incredible journey. So I am going to ask God for one more thing. When my time comes and I get to see my Kennedy again, I’d like her to be 2 ½ years old and I’d like to be 27 again because I want to be able to pick right back-up where we left off. Sitting in a rocking chair with Kennedy in her favorite position on my chest. That would be a perfect way to begin eternity.


Derek said...

Beautifully said.