The Peanut Gallery

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Calm Before the Storm

Wednesday, August 12, 2009
It was a year ago today and I can remember it like it was yesterday (I actually don't think I will ever forget this day) it holds a great deal of meaning to me - this night has taught me many lessons!  Brian and I are anxiously awaiting the grand arrival of our little girl Kennedy.  My in-laws are down from Colorado to meet their new Grand baby, I had called all my family to tell them to be at the hospital no later then 9:00 a.m. in order to meet Kennedy, all of our bags are packed, the house is immaculate, the cradle is set up right next to my side of the bed, etc.....

Brian and I are laying in bed trying to get some sleep.  This will be our last night together as a family of 2!  Tomorrow at 6:30 a.m. we are scheduled to be at Queen of the Valley Hospital for a scheduled C-section.  

As I lie in bed I can't help but shake this uneasy felling.  I shared my feelings with Brian who just continued to tell me that it was nerves.   But I knew differently.....Let's recap - Kennedy was initial due on September 15th, however, at my 8 month appointment my doctor had moved up my due date up one whole month after a scheduled ultrasound.  Kennedy's head circumference was measuring that of a baby due 4 weeks earlier.  We were then told that my due date would be moved up a month earlier to August 15h).   Two weeks later I was scheduled for another appointment.  My Dr. performed another ultrasound and delivered the same due date of August 15th using Kennedy's head circumference.  In addition, I was told by my Dr. that Kennedy was measuring roughly 10 lbs.  After this appointment we scheduled my C-section for August 13th because Kennedy was still breached.  

The four weeks prior to Kennedy's birth were filled with a lot of uneasiness, doubt, and worry.  I used to tell Brian and my family all the time that something was wrong.  Kennedy was not ready to come out.  She was going to be small.  They used to think I was crazy!!!!  They would say, "look at you - you are huge" or "your doctor wouldn't tell you she was ready if she wasn't".  No matter what anyone said I couldn't shake this feeling that everything was not going to be alright.  But what was I supposed to do???  I mean a person who went to school for medicine, someone who has delivered hundreds or thousands of babies (of whom five I know personally) was telling me everything was fine.  I couldn't very well tell him he was a liar or that Kennedy was going to be small when he says she is going to be big.   

Call it mothers intuition - I just knew something was wrong.  The day before my C-section I laid in bed in the dark worrying about what tomorrow was going to bring me.  I was excited to finally meet Kennedy but I had a very unsettling feeling.  I woke Brian up a couple times and told him that I didn't want to go.  I asked if he could call and cancel.  He told me that everything was going to be OK and that I was just nervous.  He laughed and said, "we need to get some sleep, this is going to be the last peaceful night was have in a long time"....Oh boy, he sure did not know how spot he was!!!